Getting a JOB as a Foreigner in Norway

I came here on my big old high horse (remember?!) and fell flat. It's HARD to start from square one in Norway, and I've had to realize that. I didn't have a degree when I came here, so starting all over in school is hard, too, but at the end of the day is the shiny carrot: A job! Getting a job in Norway is NOT easy. It may hurt some feelings, but it's the truth.

Being a foreigner in Norway, I can tell you a thing or two about TRYING to land a job over here... It AIN'T EASY. Well, even if you will learn Norwegian language, STILL it will not be easy to find a job. The priority is always for people who got education in a certain field. Now, this is my experience and the experience of all of my expat friends over here. There are of course those with some wonderful education in a specialized field who will tell you that getting a job over here is EASY, maybe for THEM it was! But for the rest of us... not so much. When I arrived here, having a Bachelor degree, I thought it would be a BREEEZE landing a job. That is what my husband told me. Why wouldn't someone want me?

In other countries specially in the Philippines, most employers think that if you have a degree with a good background, you can be TAUGHT to do anything. Oh you have a BA in Communication? sure you can work on TV, teach, etc. BUT not so much here. In Norway, MOST people work with their degrees, not so much flip flopping as in the U.S. or any other countries. So as you can imagine there wasn't (still isn't) a huge demand for those qualifications in my area. For the first few months I lived here, I scoffed at some of the jobs my husband suggested. PLEASE...I am not going to do THAT or THAT or THAT. Well after a few months of NADA!!! Some of those jobs were looking PRETTY darn good. Too bad those jobs I thought I had been too good for didn't want me either. The easiest job I noticed was to offer cleaning services in every houses, office, etc. (it's better if you can drive to move around) or newspaper girl. I ended up offering a cleaning service. Since I can use my International driver's license for one year in Norway, I drove around the area and put some ads on the stores/malls. I had ZERO knowledge on Norwegian language that time, so I offer the business idea to my new found friend who's also a Filipino but she's been staying here for 5 years (can speak Norwegian). In the beginning it was okey... just to be able to contribute. We were earning better, clients keep on calling us... I enjoyed it because it's tax free and we had a flexible schedule. When I started being really serious on this kind of business... I've got a chance to have a part-time job in a hotel (housekeeping department). The salary was far better... even better than a salary of a doctor working in the Philippines (sad reality!!! don't get me wrong). I was quite lucky to get the job since I don't have any background in hotel plus I can't speak fluent Norwegian langauge. So, we just maintain our clients in our cleaning services (additional income).

I think I could get the job if I could only get my foot in the door. But again... it was not easy!!! I was just praying before that hopefully I can get at least 50% fast jobb (permanent job). Just getting an interview proved almost IMPOSSIBLE. Then finally I saw an ad on the internet offering a 100% permanent job in a new hotel, (with many applicants and I'm not yet fluent on Norwegian language,) I GOT LUCKY! I passed the initial interview and the panel interview. I just signed the contract last month. Then, an amazing thing happened, when I gave my resignation letter to my previous job, they don't want me to go, they said they're willing to offer me a 100% permanent job too and with an increase on my salary. I was confused and I cried infront of the manager... I was overwhelmed!!! She told me to think about the offer. I asked for signs and really pray hard. My heart says grab the new opportunity (new hotel). I feel like I'll have a better future on my new job because they offered me a different position, not just in housekeeping department. What I mean is they know I have a potential and they are willing to give me a chance. So I quit on my previous job. I just hope that I made the right decision.

Many Filipinos who's been in Norway for many years now told me that I'm very lucky to get a permanent job in just one year. (I REALLY feel VERY lucky!) PLUS I'm also working on a new project in line with my passion. I love meeting new people and sharing my knowledge of writing to the refugees. I feel that this opportunity has come at an ideal time in my career as I have been looking for ways to integrate the various strands of my work and market myself as a product. I feel really blessed because everything fall into place. But everything's possible if we have a lot of patience... hard work... an open mind... and FAITH in God!

GOODLUCK!!! :)

A Letter to my Dear Mother-in-Law

Anne Lisbeth is a one in a million Mother-in-Law (sorry you’ll not find any naughty Mother-In-Law jokes here). She lives in Tromsø (North of Norway) where my husband grew up but she visits us often as she can, enjoying the perfect beaches in sunny Stavanger (South of Norway). When I first met her, I don't know how to call her. Since my son used to call her Bestemor (grandmother), sometimes I also call her that way. But after a year, when she visited us again, I'm starting to feel at ease on calling her Svigermor (mother-in-law). It's her birthday today! :)

Dear Svigermor,

On such an important day I haven't forgotten you and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your hospitality, for the good treatment I have received from your family, for all the conversations we have had. I would also like to congratulate you for the marvelous way in which you have brought your son up, something rarely seen nowadays and I sincerely wish you happiness today and forever.

Please know that there is not a day that goes by without you on my mind. I love and respect you as a woman, a mother, a fellow human being, etc. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening your own heart to me. You have an incredible mind and soul which you've so generously shared with me. I am honored and awed... a daughter-in-law, you welcomed into your heart.

Thank you for sharing me your secret recipe on your amazing cream cake, and other very important and delicious cakes. My own mother’s not an avid baker but I love it; there’s something amazing about losing yourself in cake mix, the smell of chocolate cake wafting through the house before feasting on your own creation afterwards… And then feasting a little more..then a little more before realizing you really have lost yourself in cake mix- although ‘losing’ is clearly not the operative word when you get on the scales. Maybe it’s best I don’t have more time to bake.

Thank you for fixing and sorting out things for me. This includes everything from socks to my son's clothes. I’m a bit of disorganized if I’m honest, and on your recent visit, you organized everything for me... now it's easier to find things.

Thank you for Geir. Meeting my husband Geir changes my life. He’s one of the good guys and I know that’s greatly thanks to you and Svigerfar. Geir is a loving, patient and oh so supportive husband and father. Oh yes and he’s also very VERY gorgeous. Thank you Svigermor indeed. Good genes and well brought up. What’s not to love?

Thank you for teaching me to be a better mother, your subtle advice on food (homemade rusks anyone?) to not sweating the small stuff, (I’m a pathological worrier) but you're always brimming with great advice. Seeing your unconditional love for Zander is amazing.

Thank you for always making me feel at home. That it doesn’t matter how far you are from your family, you can still be very close. You always make it a point to call us from time to time.

Thank you for you kindness and support. For being there whenever we need you... for always making me feel like one of the family.

Thank you for taking good care of Zander while Geir and I had a vacation in Italy. That vacation meant a lot for both of us. It helped our marriage grew stronger.

I want you to know that you've made such a difference in my life with your warmth and kindness. You have taken me into your house, into your arms, and into your life with a smile and total acceptance.

Thank you for your friendship and all the times when you've listened and understood.

Thank you for loving me as if I were your own.

Please know how much I love you and how much you really mean to me.

Gratulerer med dagen Svigermor! På bursdagen din, jeg ønsker deg alt godt, men det meste jeg ønsker deg helse, kjærlighet og lykke. Jeg vil alltid være takknemlige for at du åpnet ditt hjerte og la meg i, så en ny familie for meg kunne begynne. Stor klem!

Your Daughter-in-Law,
Shelley

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A Letter to My Mother on her 60th Birthday

Today is my mom's birthday. Anyone who reads my blog knows what an amazing person my mother really is. Since I gave birth, she has literally put her life on hold to help me and take care of my baby. I have spent the past couple of weeks trying to come up with something to do for her on her 60th birthday to thank her for all she has done and show her how much I love her. What I ended up doing was really quite simple. Since I can't go back home to celebrate this special day with her, I called the Red Ribbon, her favorite bakeshop in the Philippines and I ordered 2 designed cakes for her. Then I sent her a package, simple gifts that she will appreciate and I told my brother to buy her a bouquet of flowers and "lechon" (suckling roasted pig), it's the national dish in our country. Then I coordinated with my dad to make a special surprise birthday party for her. But what I really wanted to do was to thank her personally. None of those things really do that. So I decided to go "old school" and sit down and write her out a letter. I think it gets my point across better than anything I could have spent money on. I thought you all might enjoy reading it:

Dear Mom,

I have been trying to think of a way to say "thank you" that can somehow convey how I truly feel about you virtually putting your life on hold for me. The words don't do it justice. I could tell you how much I love you and what an amazing mother you are to me, but that seems like it has been said before. I could try and explain what it means to me to have a mother who is my best friend and confidant in life but it feels like a bad Hallmark card. The words feel too empty because it is not through words that you show me love and teach me how to be a better person. It is through your actions. The way that you love me and my son makes us better people by the mere fact that we get to be around you to experience it.

Maybe it is because I am fully immersed in this parenthood thing, or maybe it is because I cannot tell you how much I miss you on your birthday. If it would have been possible I would have come flying to celebrate this special day with you. For some reason I find myself at a point where I look back on ALL of that actions and decisions you have made over the course of being my mother and I marvel at how you have done it all with such grace and dignity. You would say that you have made mistakes. And you have. We all have and we all will. In fact it is through THOSE times that have shown the true grace and dignity of who you are. You make it all seem so easy. And perhaps before I was trying to trudge through it myself, I thought it WAS easy. But being a parent isn't easy, and doing right by your children is a life-long, full time job. And here I am, I need you now as my mother perhaps more than ever. And you are still here. Still parenting me, and stepping up to help parent my own son.

Now I am a mother, and I now know exactly how you felt. I understand the exhaustion, the worries, sacrifices and I understand something else that I never did before, the love that a mother has for her children is the most powerful, protective, caring, emotional, sacrificing love that will ever exist on this earth.

In a lifetime I will never find another, who will love me as unconditionally as you have. I am truly blessed to not only have you as my mother but a soulmate. One who can see through my smile to know I am hurting. Who will do just about anything to see me happy, even if it means keeping silent whilst performing little deeds in the background. One whose fervent prayers have kept me safe from harm or sickness. I have so much to learn from you. I am always in awe when I witness your generosity, and your kindness to those in need.

"Thank you" will never be sufficient. What I hope WILL be is the promise that I am taking in all that you are and all that you do, and I am tucking it away inside of me to pull on when I need it. If I can be HALF the mother to my own son that you have been to me, and if when he reach adulthood he can feel HALF the love and acceptance and guidance that I have, then and only then will I feel as though I have "thanked you" properly. I cannot tell you how lucky we are to have you in our lives. Zander, Geir and I are all going to be better people because of you. You mean more to us than I could ever tell you. We all love you with all of our hearts and souls and wish you the best birthday in the world! Happy 60th Birthday Mommy!

Your daughter,
Shelley

My Long Vacation -- 21 Days Has Started!

I am starting my long vacation tomorrow. It’s very hard to explain what it entails. My mother-in-law will be visiting us on Wednesday and she will be staying with us for 3 weeks. I'm looking forward to seeing her again. When she's around, everything becomes easy because she's like my mom. Then friends will also visit us from Bergen. It will still be a busy vacation for me! :)

Then for some few days, I want to get away & go someplace peaceful, and where I'd feel free and just relax. relax. relax. I'm so thankful to my mother-in-law because she offered to take good care of our son while my husband and I will go on a short trip.

A vacation! That’s what I badly need right now. I need some time off to unwind and just rest my mind. My mind needs to be devoid of all negative thoughts. I have never realized how chaotic my life was in so many aspects since I moved in Norway and I don’t want the day to come when I’ll just suffer from a breakdown because I couldn’t handle everything anymore.

That’s why I need a vacation. I need to hie off to a place where I can just let my hair down and worry about nothing. A long vacation is not just an extended period of time when your body is away from home. It’s a state of mind, a psychological shift, a way of letting go.

You live, but so much better than before.

Under a cloudy sky sometimes the world looks gray...

Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling... People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile. -Judith Guest

You cry... you feel sad... you get "help"... but it is still there... only now you hide it... you want everyone to believe it is okey... but its not, I'm not okey- its a roller coaster of emotions, you slowly start to feel better and then all of a sudden you crash again... then it starts all over.

Depression to me is like a deep dark pit that once you have reached bottom there is no escape.
At first you began to feel yourself sliding into the shadows and then complete isolation from life. Things begin to lose their color. yellows of the sunshine, and blues of the sky fade to a grey and bleak shadow that seems to overwhelm me. I can no longer see or hear things that are pleasing to me anymore. Dark thoughts of fear and failure dwell within my mind almost constantly. I feel numb to the world and people around me. I want to be left alone because it takes so much work to hide the true pain and sadness I am feeling. The guilt for not being able to handle simple conversations. It is so hard and exhausting to pretend with people that I am okey when in fact I have spiraled downward into what I call THE PIT. It is deep, dark, lonely and inescapable for me sometimes.

Life is sometimes bad. I feel like it's just a bunch of aches and pains. When ever there is some good thing happens, it's inevitable that it is going to end. I've resolved myself. I'm not going to
expect anything but the worst because it's inevitable. Why be caught by surprise by something you know isn't going to last. Don't be a fool, even if it does get better always know it will come to an end.

I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I've had it. I am so tired. I just want my OLD life back!

Nerve-wracking interview experience!!!

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I just had my second interview! That was so nerve-wracking! I've had like six job interviews in my life, and I've always gotten the job. I've never been this nervous. It was actually a group interview... And there is nothing more stressful than going for an interview for the 2nd time (specially if they want me to speak Norwegian... which is next to impossible... lol PLUS they were five people conducting the interview in Norsk but even worse when you have to interview in front of your competitors who were very fluent in speaking Norwegian) kakalurkey talaga!!! But it is essential that you make the best impression you can in this limited time so I told them the truth that I can only speak/understand little Norwegian... good thing they allowed me to speak in English.

The initial interview was very easy for me since the interviewer used 'English language'. It lasted for 45 minutes... and I didn't even notice the time... (bakit kase kailangan ko pang magNorsk sa 2nd interview... lol)

I left the interview convinced that I hadn't done well enough (because of not using the Norwegian language), but I'm still hoping I'd shown them what they wanted... I'm crossing my fingers! :D