A Midsummer Night's Dream

Midsummer in Norway, also known as Sankthansaften or Jonsok, is a holiday celebrated nationwide, usually on the night of June 23. The summer in North Cape, Norway, the most northern point of Europe, has light for the entire 24 hours a day. No wonder they call this country the Land of the Midnight Sun.

The further north you go, the more prominent is the Midnight Sun. The naturally illuminated night enables you to do things you can’t do anywhere else in the world such as sit outside and read your newspaper at midnight. But this might be bad news if you're trying to catch a little sleep (many folks living up north break out the blackout curtains on this time), but it's fantastic if you're throwing a late-night party.

We don’t get the midnight sun in Stavanger (south part of Norway), but it doesn’t get dark at this time of this year for more than two hours, and even then it’s only really dusk. Watching the sun set at almost 12 midnight and show up again at 2 am can be a very novel experience for people living along latitudes towards the center of our planet. While I found this the most amazing phenomenon while living in Norway. For people living closer to the Arctic in the North Pole and Antarctic in the South Pole, it’s something they have got used to. There are large seasonal variations in day light throughout the year in Norway.

The complete absence of a night sky in the summer months of June and July, when the sun barely manages to descend beneath the horizon, can be a weird feeling, jeopardizing our tropical concept of mornings and evenings. Conversely, the sun refuses to show up during the winter months of November to January. Add to this the natural occurrence of the Northern lights (aurora borealis) in the inky backdrop of the polar night sky and the surreal experience is complete. This celestial display, seen as dancing sheets or flames of light, in varied hues of green, yellow, red and a rare blue, is truly astounding.

I feel lucky to witness this mystical spectacle last Christmas in Tromsø. So far, I have managed to avoid the freezing Norway winters, not only because I dislike insulated living shuttling between heated rooms and heated modes of transport, but also because I miss that life sustaining radiance of the sun’s rays, of which even a glimmer is not expected on some days of the Norwegian winter months.

Wandering through this beautiful land of fiords, it was these atmospheric phenomenons, typical to high latitude regions that kept intriguing me. In Norway, just as in other regions of Scandinavia, it’s a very important time of the year with interesting peasant traditions. The highlight of the midsummer night celebration is the huge bonfire that is lighted at midnight.

Labor of Love

Finally, I found time to blog about my full labor and delivery story! At 4am I woke up to go to the bathroom and there was nothing unusual about that. Then around 5am, I noticed that my contractions starting to be every few minutes. When my mother-in-law knew about it, she told my hubby that we needed to go to the hospital ASAP since my contractions becoming frequent. My water has never broken on its own yet. My hubby asked if he had time to shower. I told him that he did and then I requested my mom if she can prepare a nice breakfast for me before we go to the hospital. I finish packing the last minute stuff. About an hour and a half later, we were ready to walk out the door. Oh. My. Gosh. This is it!

"This is the time we are all looking forward to our baby's arrival in this world with huge anticipation. We long for the day when we can finally physically carry her in our arms and look at our baby in the eyes."
 

Labor at Pregnancy Week 44 had Started!
At this point I was having contractions and was in pain.  The “contractions” that I thought I was having a couple days earlier were nothing compared to these. Those must have been Braxton-Hicks contractions instead.  (And it has to be said that everyone is right – You will just know when the contractions are the real thing.  I promise.) We made it to the hospital around 9:30 am and went to check in with labor and delivery on the 1st floor since I requested for an epidural because I have low tolerance for pain. We were brought into a room and I was told to lay down for a minute so that she could get my blood pressure, stats, and baby's heart rate. ('just making sure it's not a false alarm!) After the nurse IE'd me, we found out I was at 4 cm dilated. She put a belt-like thing across my belly to monitor the contractions and one to monitor the baby’s heart rate. I immediately asked her to turn the baby’s heart rate down so that I couldn’t hear it as much.  Even though nothing was wrong with her heart rate, it just overwhelmed me to think about hearing it go down or for something to be wrong. She turned it down. Then, she puts a liquid on my ass to help me go to the toilet and remove all the food I ate... amazing... just for few seconds, I already felt the effect! I stayed inside the toilet for 30 minutes. I feel like I'm having a diarrhea. Then the nurse showed me the room where I'll be giving birth. She told me that I can eat anything I want. Geir and I just sat on the couch in the room and hung out throughout my contractions. Around 2pm, nothing happened. So Geir convinced me to go out the room and walk up and down the stairs so I can start giving birth.

At 3:30pm, still walking non-stop, I already start crying everytime I have my contractions because the pain is stronger. I told my hubby to call the nurse and request for an epidural because I can't handle the pain anymore. When the nurse IE'd me for the 2nd time, she found out I'm already 7cm dilated. The nurse was convincing me that I don't need the epidural anymore since I'll be giving birth any time and I already handle the pain that long. Geir, the nurse, and I talked about it. I had a thought balloon, “It’s not like I get an award for seeing how long I can wait.  If I'm in pain, I should make myself comfortable.” I struggled with the whole getting-the-epidural thing. I have said all along that I wanted the epidural. I knew that no one was going to give me a gold star for not having it. I felt like I wanted to be so strong and bear out the contractions, but they hurt. Really bad. And yes, I am a big baby when it comes to pain. I had tears in my eyes, but was fighting the urge to give in to the epidural. Then, I closed my eyes for few seconds and prayed. After that I just agreed on what the nurse said. I made the decision to go ahead and give birth naturally without epidural. Instead, she gave me an oxygen mask and told me to breathe in to ease the pain.

Labor And Delivery: The True Stories Of Pushing
Around 4:30 pm, the nurse said I'm already 10cm dilated. Thankfully everything was about to happen so quickly so I didn’t have time to start thinking things through. She taught me how to push. She said that her and Geir would each hold a leg during a contraction and that she would count down from 10 to 1 while I pushed. There was also a midwife inside the room. I felt like it was my first time to give birth. I had to take a deep breathe in and then push. I officially started pushing at 5:00 pm. While I was pushing the nurse had my right leg and Geir had my left leg. I had a washcloth on my head because I was feeling nauseous. She said that they could start seeing the head and Gier was like “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." It was like one step forward, two steps back with each push. She would say, “Here’s another contraction.  Bear down, bear down, push, push, push” I liked her because she was really helping me. She was good at her job and at motivating me. Finally around 5:30 pm, the midwife said that our baby would be born after just another couple of pushes. At this point that was music to my ears.  I was ready to be done with pushing and ready to meet my baby girl. I will also admit right now that pushing is a lot harder than I ever thought. It really takes a lot out of you and just when you feel like giving up, your cheering squad convinces you that you are this close and to try just one more time. You naturally give in because you have to – You have a bowling ball appearing out of your vagina and there is no sucking it back up and making it disappear. For real. At 5:51 pm our little princess came into the world. During that last push I remember Geir holding my left leg, kissing my forehead, and saying, “She's coming out!” and he had tears in his eyes. I had tears in my eyes. We both knew, without saying a word, that our life changed at that moment in time, that it would never be the same. We saw our little girl being born and were both filled of excitement and massive amounts of love for this little being.

Hearing my husband being so vulnerable at that moment is my favorite memory of the day.  I saw him in a different light; as a dad now full of love for his wife that just birthed their baby. I feel his love and concern. He was sweating too much after the delivery and I said sorry to him after I gave birth because of all the hitting he received from me. He never complain! He stood by me in my hour of need. Our daughter was placed on my chest right after she was born and I think I was supposed to help wipe her off, but I just stroked her foot. And cried. A lot. After 9 months of growing her and wondering what she would look like, it was my reality now.  I wanted to take in everything and totally be in this moment.  She was so perfect, even though she was full of fluids and other things. I fell in love with her immediately.

Geir cut her umbilical cord shortly after and then our baby was taken to a table in the room to be weighed and get her APGAR score. She weighed 3975 grams and was 51 cm tall. After giving birth, I felt really nauseous. I don't understand what happened after I gave birth. Everything happened fast. The nurse took my baby and gave her to Geir. Then suddenly, a group of nurses and doctors went to my room. I just heard that the nurse said, they need to bring me to the surgery room because I had too much bleeding. The last thing I remembered was when the nurse told me that they will put me to sleep because the doctor will check something inside me just to make sure. After I said okey, she told me to breath on the oxygen mask then I passed out.

Around 11pm, I woke up. I was so sleepy and was just about to knocked out again. When I would wake up, I wondered what was wrong with me – Could I really be this tired from pushing? I don't understand what just happened. The nurse told me that they will transfer me on my hospital room where I'll be staying for the next couple of nights. The room where I got to enjoy meal after meal of the hospital food – which wasn’t too bad actually. My husband and baby are waiting for me there. She also said that the bleeding already stopped. Geir went home around 12 midnight. There's no extra bed for him in the room.

I had a really good experience. Most importantly, I have the cutest, most perfect baby girl to hold in my arms… and that’s what it’s all about!  I feel truly blessed and am so in love with her. Thanks for reading my birth story and labor and delivery story, even though it was super long. I can’t wait to blog about everything that’s happened over the past week.

What a crazy roller coaster it’s been, complete with emotions running wild, hardly any sleep, lots of love for this new little life, and falling deeper in love with my husband, but I would not change a single thing! :)

Norway's Easter Traditions

So how is Easter celebrated in Norway?

In Norway, Easter break is longer than in many other European countries. ‘Easter’ in Norway is called ‘Påske’. Though the celebrations of Easter in Norway are not very different from that of the celebrations in the other parts of the world, the Easter here are characterized by more colorful celebrations and longer holidays. 

The Easter holidays begin on Wednesday afternoon even before the Maundy Thursday, and wrap up on Tuesday morning after Easter Monday. It lasts a long time here so we need to plan our shopping well. The stores are closed most of Easter so be prepared to stand in line.

What I found surprising is that families here actually decorate for Easter. The major discount store chain has taken out several shelves in each store with Easter decorations. Yellow is the prevailing color with an emphasis on springtime, with flowers, candles (of course!), ornaments of baby chickens or ducks, and more cardboard eggs. Painted ceramic eggs as containers are also quite common.

Marzipan is a great favorite here in Norway. At holiday times it comes in many forms. Right now you can buy marzipan chicks and bunnies and chocolate covered marzipan eggs. Oh, and if you expect a visit from the Easter bunny you will be disappointed. In Norway, we have the Easter chicken.

The long holiday makes Easter a very popular time for Norwegians to take trips to the cabins in the mountains for a final ski tour before spring melts away the winter snow. I don’t ski yet, but – five and a half days off? Now that's what I call a 'happy Easter'. This year we are staying home. My mother-in-law will be coming tomorrow to visit us from Tromsø (north of Norway). My parents will be arriving also on Thursday. It's their first time to visit Norway and spend Easter holiday here.

Easter Holidays become a long weekend rejuvenation phase for most of the people in the country and is thus the longest awaited holiday too! 

Happy Easter to all! (God påske til alle!)

Don't Let Jealousy Ruin Your Relationship

“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” - Maya Angelou

Are there times you become jealous of something or in a certain situation? I begrudgingly have to admit, I do sometimes become jealous. What I try to do, rather than focusing on my jealousy, I have to focus on what I have to do and what would make me feel less jealous.

Jealousy can eat away my whole day. Spending time being jealous is, quite simply, a waste of time. Sometimes, I try to be logical and ask myself, "What am I achieving by being jealous?" "Is my situation improving by spending time feeling this way?" Obviously, the answer is no.

I read articles about overcoming jealousy. Just to help me handle the situation. I’m not saying to ignore your feelings of jealousy completely. I learned that it’s a natural and expected emotion. Instead, acknowledge that you feel jealous and explore what would decrease those feelings. How is the jealousy affecting you and how it is affecting your relationship with your husband? Can you do something to acquire whatever you are jealous of? In my situation, maybe I can try to understand harder the situation. Also, I spend some time reframing my thoughts to be more accurate and positive. Rather than saying or thinking “I’m jealous of my husband's ex-girlfriend.” I try to say, “I’d love to work harder and just keep my marriage stronger than what my husband has with his past relationship." I’m working hard and I just always think that I have so much to be grateful for.

Along the lines of what Ms. Angelou is saying, too much jealousy can be relationship-threatening. If I approach my husband with jealousy and any other negative feelings, I've probably indirectly or directly sending negative signals. In the beginning, I may not notice, but I may be acting differently toward that person, and this is especially true in my relationships with my husband. And it’s not just about jealousy; we can apply this to any negative feeling. Some of us are very transparent when it comes to emotions. I know I am. My husband can frequently tell by looking at my face that I’m sad, upset, or annoyed. Maybe I’m not verbally mistreating a person but he can usually look at me and know that I’m feeling down or irritated. In turn, he is going to react differently toward me, and that’s definitely not going to help our relationship.

I always try to apply this to my marriage. Of course I'll feel a little jealous if a pretty girl is flirting with my spouse specially if his 'ex-girlfriend' is calling him or sending him text messages. Sometimes, I can't control my feelings but I try very hard not to let it get beyond a little jealousy. When this happens, I just usually pray. I know I can trust my husband (there's no doubt about it!) and I know that the flirty girl or ex-girlfriend is harmless and will probably be ignored by my husband anyway.

So how do I get over jealousy and how do I keep it from affecting my marriage? Well, in addition to acknowledging and reframing, I usually work on my self-esteem. This may not apply to everyone, but low self-esteem is often the root of jealousy. I read an article that says, "If there’s a specific item or situation you are jealous of, if it’s possible, try to work on obtaining it. Don’t just stew in jealously, do something about it." (Just to clarify, it doesn't mean take away the item from the person who has it, it means go out and earn it yourself). It also says on the article that, "If you feel it’s appropriate for your situation, consider talking to the person you are jealous of." But in my case, until now, I still don't have the courage to face and talk to her personally. I know it may take it as a compliment and it might release me of the burden of feeling jealous. So, what I usually do, I talk to a close and trusted friend or family member. And I make sure not to become angry at the person I am jealous of. She probably doesn’t know how I feel and even if she does, she wouldn't feel bad or get punished when most likely she isn't trying to make me jealous in the first place.

Remember, jealousy doesn’t just affect you, it affects your relationships. Try to let it go and stay positive.

Suffering from 'bekkenløsning'.

After I was confined in the hospital a month ago, I never went back to work. My doctor issued a 'sykemeldt' (sick leave), so I can stay home and regain my energy while waiting for the result of my bladder biopsy. Just 2 weeks ago, I had my regualar checkup with my doctor, he decided to prolong my sick leave until my maternity leave. Meaning I will never go back to work again until I give birth. My doctor told me I am suffering from 'bekkenløsning' or pelvic pain (SPD).

This is my second child (33 weeks). I have been having extreme hip/pelvic and siatica pain, it's so painful that sometimes I cry. It's hard to sleep, walk, get up, turning over in bed, going up and down the stairs, even getting into a car was pure agony. It really kills me a lot. I never had this kind of pain with my first child, which I delivered normally. My doctor told me to keep my legs together as much as I can when getting in and out of bed, standing up and sitting down because when I move one leg at a time I'm making one side of my pelvis move higher than my other side. This usually cause the pain. My doctor recommends me to undergo physiotherapy to relieve the discomfort and use crutches, which I don't prefer using since most of the time I just stayed home. I had my own doctor and midwife who check my pregnancy regularly. My midwife informed me that SPD only gets worse as the baby gets bigger, but should disappear almost instantly following the birth, which I really hope and pray that it will really disappear right away after I give birth. She also told me that it is safe to take paracetamol if the pain is really bad.

Today was a really bad day for me. It's hard to walk. I have to keep switching positions so it won't hurt too much. I'm really waddling like a duck now. My doctor assured me that this is normal pain and it's all part of pregnancy. I still have 6 weeks to go. I just want my body and energy back!

Approaching the end of pregnancy...

"It is an exciting and hopeful time for me and my family. It is approaching the end of my pregnancy, and sometimes I feel that my stomach is in the way."

Pregnant women undergo emotional and physical change, I know this is normal and I'm so thankful to my husband who's been very supportive of me. Now, that I'm approaching the end of pregnancy, I am definitely larger. People tell me they can’t quite see it, while others tease me about my frontal rotundity. Getting dressed every morning is a struggle for pants that fit. If only that was the only thing different. I honestly have too much complaints on my second pregnancy. By everything you’ve ever heard about pregnancy, number one on my list is the morning sickness. I also experienced  the “it’s time to eat again or else” sickness. I go from normal to starving Sally Struthers style about every two hours. It’s when I don’t answer that call that I get nauseated and struggle even more to find something I feel like eating. I don’t have any weird food aversions or cravings, but there are foods that make me happy. Among them – because it varies from day to day — are 'pansit', banana or chocolate milkshakes, spaghetti 'pinoy' style and boneless bangus dip with calamansi and anchovy sauce. I drink normally and have turned my nose up at the strawberry shakes I would order before. And as much as I always loved a spicy food like thai food, the thought turns my stomach which I’m not sleeping on. Paranoia has me off my back as well. I just turn from side to side, feeling like a fish flailing from side to side all night long. Sleeping is uncomfortable even with the body pillow. Waking up when I get up for potty breaks is hard for me because I can't go back to sleep right away. 

One thing I couldn’t have anticipated at this stage is sore hips and thighs. It's more painful than my experience on my first pregnancy. It’s like my joints are on strike. I stiffen quickly as if it will rain any minute. And sleep must be a really big part of the preparation. I’m so sleepy all the time that I feel lazy. And when I’m not sleepy, I’m just plain tired. Every day, it’s like I’m playing catch-up with my fast-moving life. 

As accepting as I’ve become of actually being pregnant, my approaching acceptance that I do need more food, more sleep and to keep taking my omega3 vitamin. I’m really just responding to feelings that seem to get hurt a lot more often though I pretend otherwise when it involves friends. 

It’s pretty clear that while I’ve got the physical stuff down, I’ve got to work on the emotional side of pregnancy. So, if you don't see me where I should supposed to be, know that I'm not milking the whole pregnancy thing. I'm just struggling my way forward and probably on my way somewhere to go cry about it when my indescribable mood swing attack.